To Andi

I'm sitting here trying to properly register the fact that you're getting married tomorrow... Married Andi!!! And I'm also thinking of all the memories I have of us.... the school times, the crazy times... the times we would run to each other for support... how we always just knew it when one of us was upset or something wasn't right even if we hadn't spoken in weeks... just happy doing nothing while bumming around together... and it occured to me that this one event more than anything has made me realise that we're well and truly ADULTS dammit!
Getting married...
you will leave home.. change your name... have "married woman" issues...
In some ways this is going to be as life changing for me as it is for you! Your wedding is making me realise that the whole concept of "womanhood" is actually an immediate looming issue that has to be dealt with, instead of a vague threat in the distance. The fact that its YOU who's getting married... my other half.. my partner in crime... makes me want to laugh at the sheer seeming absurdity of it and at the same time cry... because in some ways I feel as though I'm having to let you go... that you're leaving me behind...
What I really want to say I think is that I'm nervous... nervous for you.. nervous for me.... these are big steps kiddo! Adulthood is looking me straight in the face... and as you walk down the aisle tomorrow its going to be parading past me! So when i stand up... I guess I'll be standing in respect and hope for what is to come and also in some perverted way which I'm still unable to fully articulate.. I'll be standing up for something that all of us will leave behind... you'll leave it at the door and it wont follow any of us home... it could be the last remnants of our childhoods... it could be some of our perceptions on life... I guess I'll know it when its gone...
Dont get me wrong.. I'm happy for you... I'm thrilled that this is coming true.. the fairytale ending to the soap opera I've always been meaning to write on your life... and I wish for you more than anything the "they lived happily ever after" ending... you know the part that they always gloss over in the story books! I also know you wont go anywhere... that we will always be who we are - and who we are dictates in some cosmic way that we should always remain friends... but there! I dont want to tempt fate by saying it.... (thooo thoo thoo)
Oh andi! andi! I want so much for you... but most of all I just want you both to be happy. If there was one fairy god mother gift I could give you, it would be that. I want you to be happy no matter what happens in life.. no matter what you may have to go through...
Alright I shall stop now and go get some sleep... have to look good for our big day!
kisses.