Sixth of seventh... if I was not this mathematically impaired I could probably do some amazing things with numbers that left you gasping in sheer awe at my prowess with numbers and the sheer hopelessness of coming in sixth of seventh... please imagine that the following words are numbers and the things I've done with them are pretty darn amazing... and we can get to the crux of the matter...
SIXTH of SEVENTH... thats where Sri Lanka stands in terms of violating human rights in the SAARC Region. Thats just troubling.... all thats happening around us and they tell us that things in the region around us are actually worse? With us trying so hard??? Surely.. but SURELY the CID questioning of three journalists for hours on end under the (as yet undefined) new Prevention of Terrorism Act can gain us some brownie points? And the abductions on an almost daily basis??? Hey.. when was this counted anyway? Surely the past few weeks alone have afforded us enough leeway to leapfrog over our closest competitor... that would be...Pakistan. Ok Pakistan beating us at something I can handle... but Number 1 is Bangladesh! BANGLADESH! I have no issue with Bangladesh... but come on... this is a matter of national pride... have you seen their cricket team play? We have to try harder... HARDER! The abductions must be upped further... we have not taken enough "regressive measures" - oh how I love "reportese" - the jargon used in reports! If only I had seen this earlier in my university career I bet I could have scored a few more marks on my assignments... but I digress....
I really shudder to think how bad things must be outside of here... with people literally getting lifted off the roads, implementation of tough new laws that are essentially for curbing freedom of expression and the peoples right to know, torture and rape in the North and East, not to mention random executions of civilians, students and aid workers.... What havent we done??? Why are we not even in medal position? Atleast give us a commendation... or how about an unofficial poll title... like in those high school magazines... like "Most likely to get into the top 3 of this list next year"... the speed at which we are taking "regressive measures" (Oh HOW I love that phrase!) bodes well for the future I think.
Sixth of Seventh...I dont know whether to laugh at it or work myself up into frenzies of righteous indignation because we're just damn well not recognised for all our hard work! (please picture more complicted math-o-grams here to illustrate my point and further awe you with my genius tendencies)....
(sigh)
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3 comments:
you are wonderful. i love you for bringing hilarity like this into the world...
bless you.
Nah.. I think he's actually serious. HRiets and other Ngots are probably quite pissed off about this lowly rating despite months of hard work.
Perhaps they are getting tired of the old white van fairytale. Why not write something about metallic black UAVs abducting people ("civilians" who have nothing to do with the LTTE of course, not terrorists in civilian clothes) off the streets.
All these ratings are biased. We need to start our own unbiased local ratings. suggest you collaborate with the Daily News, Rupavahini Corporation, the Media Ministry and develop our own ratings for south asia.
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