Getting around in Colombo at the best of times is a talent that has long eluded me and countless others like me who are directionally impaired... Oh you may laugh! But only those like me will be able to truly understand the sweaty, 'clammy- palm' feeling of sheer terror when you get to a junction that "looks familiar" but you cant decide which way to turn... the mental trauma caused by irate friends, family and relative strangers when you take them down some wild goose chase down a road for 20 minutes to destination A when said destination could have been reached a good 15 minutes before... the uncertanity of leaving a place without knowing if you can ever find your way back to it.... ah me... no you wouldnt laugh.
But what is Happening to Colombo? Where are things one way? Where can I take the bus from? How do I get to my friends houses? HOW do I get to classes from office? My considerably underdeveloped geographical senses are screaming blue murder.... I am THIS close to shrieking uncontrollably, spinning erratically in one place and collapsing in a sizzling heap of overheated neurons... even the little that was certain is not anymore! The short cuts I have gathered over the past so many years have been dissipated... rendered useless in a single fell blow! The insensitivity of this move to impaired people like me is shocking in its brutality... every fibre of my being is screaming for vengeance. VENGEANCE!!!!!
I need action! The power of the people must be invoked! I am in the process of organising a protest rally at the Fort Railway station - if I can find my way there...
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11 comments:
If you ever do chose to collapse in a pile of overheated neurons, I'll bring a camera.
To avoid such a situation I would strongly suggest you (and all you directionally impaired people out there) adopt the 'Zen' method of navigation, which is frequently used by Dirk Gently in 'The Long Dark Teatime of the Soul'.
Douglas Adams articulates it thus: "Zen" method of navigation, which was simply to find any car that looked as if it knew where it was going and follow it. The results were more often surprising than successful, but he felt it was worth it for the sake of the few occasions when it was both.
Dirk Gently further explains the results of the Zen method of navigation: "... my methods of navigation have their advantages. I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be."
You pseudo-intellectual twat!
Learn how to spell you idiot.
I spelt it fine twat!
It's pseudointellectual you moron!
No it's not. Try it on 'Word' you twat!
And anyway, hyphenation is not 'spelling'. Moron.
Fuck off.
Fine. Twat!
i feel for you. i got lost IN THE LIBRARY yesterday. i kid you not; the tiny library of hampshire college, home to a mere fourteen hundred students!
surely this is genetic? how do i spare my offspring??
oh that was from me, by the way:)
-kanya
Marry a Native American tracker Kanya. Surely their genes should overpower your weak ones.
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